(Expecting) Crabflix and Chill [Day 5, ME - Ochiba's place]

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

"No such thing as booze sacrilage." She replied airly, placing her bowl of snacks on the proferred feet. "This is good. Is it the Spicy Crab Flakes? It's actually made from real Crab. Like...10% of it at least."

She watched the show. "We should've pitched this, with you as the bacholerette. Essential skills like looting, cursing, drinking and of course, prize shooting."

She let out a gurgle as the Toritaka was..."Did she exoricse her opponent with fire? IS that even allowed? I don't care! This show is great!"

She podnered as she chewed. Loudly. "I wonder if there is a Kuni version of this one."

Ochiba grumbles, now limited in feet wiggling, feet poking and feet kicking, but consoling herself with another sip of booze.

"Yeah I fond them down at the store, they're soooo good. I don't believe that real crab thing for a minute, not at that price. But the flavour is hard to beat."
She lets out a contrasting choke as the Toritaka starts claiming at least 2 more of her rivals are 'possessed...by jealousy'.
"I dunno I'd ever go on a show like this... but if I did I would win! I'm hotter than at least half of these girls. Although that one Yasuki I am sure has her hair like that and bad makeup solely for a reveal to come later. No adult woman would actually go out like that otherwise."

Munching more crab snacks loudly.
"The Kuni have this like dour traditionalist one where it's just two samurai poking eachother with Jade and trying to catch one another in a lie. It got about half a season, I think some of the face paint designs caught on though."

On screen the first date is up, with Kaiu bachelorette taking the Hiruma...out to a clay making class.
"Oooooh, you know this might just work. It's sort of traditional, it's light-hearted and I bet she's really good at it too."

[Yoritomo Yakura]

Ochiba grumbles, now limited in feet wiggling, feet poking and feet kicking, but consoling herself with another sip of booze.

"Yeah I fond them down at the store, they're soooo good. I don't believe that real crab thing for a minute, not at that price. But the flavour is hard to beat."
She lets out a contrasting choke as the Toritaka starts claiming at least 2 more of her rivals are 'possessed...by jealousy'.
"I dunno I'd ever go on a show like this... but if I did I would win! I'm hotter than at least half of these girls. Although that one Yasuki I am sure has her hair like that and bad makeup solely for a reveal to come later. No adult woman would actually go out like that otherwise."

Munching more crab snacks loudly.
"The Kuni have this like dour traditionalist one where it's just two samurai poking eachother with Jade and trying to catch one another in a lie. It got about half a season, I think some of the face paint designs caught on though."

On screen the first date is up, with Kaiu bachelorette taking the Hiruma...out to a clay making class.
"Oooooh, you know this might just work. It's sort of traditional, it's light-hearted and I bet she's really good at it too."

Yakura rolled her eyes and took the bowl from the feet. "You owe me." She continued munching loudly. "No, I meant you should have a bevy of samurai vying for your attention. Think about it."

She pulled a face. "With those bangs? I'm sur-..there it is, the bang cutting scene. The music is too much. Oh, the clay date was nice, though I am not sure if them throwing clay at each other was planned or not."

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

Yakura rolled her eyes and took the bowl from the feet. "You owe me." She continued munching loudly. "No, I meant you should have a bevy of samurai vying for your attention. Think about it."

She pulled a face. "With those bangs? I'm sur-..there it is, the bang cutting scene. The music is too much. Oh, the clay date was nice, though I am not sure if them throwing clay at each other was planned or not."

"You are a hero of the Clan."
Ochiba then happily pokes her in the shoulder with a toe.

"I could totally get a bevy of samurai vying for my attention if I just, didn't wear a bra one day. But they'd all be kinda skeevy. I think I have a thee samurai max. Any more than that and you start mixing up numbers and you've got a date every day, what's your cap."

Chuckling at the picture.
"Mixing the bang cutting in and those fake tears and the music with shots of the other woman on the date and his happy face, absolute cinema, genius, 10/10 I don't care what anyone says of this show. I think the Kaiu just got annoyed the 3rd time he ruined his pot but he took it as a joke and he's got that nice big smile."

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"I especially like his smile from the behind. When he's walking. With those tight pants." She continued munching. "Hey!" She yelled, poking back at the toe. "I am a lady, and I have boundaries! No toes in my mouth unless asked for is one!"

She looked left, then right, then decided. "Yo O-chan,booze me. Can't reach with some stupid feet in my lap."

She glanced back and saw..."Wait, is the pretty Yasuki and the boring Hiruma lady on a date themselves? Or?"

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

"I especially like his smile from the behind. When he's walking. With those tight pants." She continued munching. "Hey!" She yelled, poking back at the toe. "I am a lady, and I have boundaries! No toes in my mouth unless asked for is one!"

She looked left, then right, then decided. "Yo O-chan,booze me. Can't reach with some stupid feet in my lap."

She glanced back and saw..."Wait, is the pretty Yasuki and the boring Hiruma lady on a date themselves? Or?"

"Oh yeah, all those generations of Hiruma long distance running finally produced a Crab twink. Honestly, it was worth it."
Ochiba looks down at the cup, grabs it with both arms and levers it up for Yakura with a grunt.
"I can absolutely skip gym day with this. And hey look, no toes."

Checking back in on the show.
"Ohhhh, plot twist! I was wondering why the Hiruma girl was so shy at the meet and greet, poor girl barely said more than two words. You go get 'er! I'm rooting for them both."

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"Oh yeah, all those generations of Hiruma long distance running finally produced a Crab twink. Honestly, it was worth it."
Ochiba looks down at the cup, grabs it with both arms and levers it up for Yakura with a grunt.
"I can absolutely skip gym day with this. And hey look, no toes."

Checking back in on the show.
"Ohhhh, plot twist! I was wondering why the Hiruma girl was so shy at the meet and greet, poor girl barely said more than two words. You go get 'er! I'm rooting for them both."

Yakura carefully put her bowl of snacks to the side, and gingerly took the cup, and started slurping. "What gym day, you shot a lizard today. That was your gym day. Stop overachieveing and making me look back. My most experience with gym is buying cute athleisure stuff."

She handed the MegaCup back. "Wait...is the guy getting jealous, or is he gonna try and polycule his way into that? And is the Kaiu...is he putting a turbothruster onto the tractor?"

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

Yakura carefully put her bowl of snacks to the side, and gingerly took the cup, and started slurping. "What gym day, you shot a lizard today. That was your gym day. Stop overachieveing and making me look back. My most experience with gym is buying cute athleisure stuff."

She handed the MegaCup back. "Wait...is the guy getting jealous, or is he gonna try and polycule his way into that? And is the Kaiu...is he putting a turbothruster onto the tractor?"

Sorry Yakura-chan, I guess I'm just built different." Ochiba playfully throws a little rice crab cracker at her. "That was awesome though, you think the skull is gonna look good over there above the entrance-way?

Her attention fixates back on the screen, munching with wide eyes.
"There's just no way-" munch munch munch "-that's gonna work it's almost like-" munch munch munch "-noooo, oh shit. Yakura, he doesn't know! He hasn't picked up on the vibe! He thinks they're just roommates. I think the Hiruma girl is gonna die if she turns any more red. I can't look away."

[Yoritomo Yakura]

Sorry Yakura-chan, I guess I'm just built different." Ochiba playfully throws a little rice crab cracker at her. "That was awesome though, you think the skull is gonna look good over there above the entrance-way?

Her attention fixates back on the screen, munching with wide eyes.
"There's just no way-" munch munch munch "-that's gonna work it's almost like-" munch munch munch "-noooo, oh shit. Yakura, he doesn't know! He hasn't picked up on the vibe! He thinks they're just roommates. I think the Hiruma girl is gonna die if she turns any more red. I can't look away."

Yakura suddenly reaches out her tongue...and manages to snag the cracker? "You and me both, just different ways I guess. What, here? Not taking it to your ship? Eh, it's fine. I1d make a table piece out of it instead."

She sniggered. "He's complimenting them about showering together to be more economic...oh god, this guy, I just want to hug him and put him into a cage before he hurts himself."

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

Yakura suddenly reaches out her tongue...and manages to snag the cracker? "You and me both, just different ways I guess. What, here? Not taking it to your ship? Eh, it's fine. I1d make a table piece out of it instead."

She sniggered. "He's complimenting them about showering together to be more economic...oh god, this guy, I just want to hug him and put him into a cage before he hurts himself."

"You pull that trick again the Yasuki is gonna crawl out of the TV and start trying to date you!"

The two Mantis end up sniggering in sync, Ochiba munching and looking completely bemused.

"I just know he'd be super supportive if he could just figure it out! He's going to..wait...wait the other Hiruma is whispering something and..and...who know he's turned red as a tomato oh he's making an excuse...he left his rooster running?... and he's gone!"

Ochiba throws her head back and howls with laughter, kicking her feet and rocking the gigacup.

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"You pull that trick again the Yasuki is gonna crawl out of the TV and start trying to date you!"

The two Mantis end up sniggering in sync, Ochiba munching and looking completely bemused.

"I just know he'd be super supportive if he could just figure it out! He's going to..wait...wait the other Hiruma is whispering something and..and...who know he's turned red as a tomato oh he's making an excuse...he left his rooster running?... and he's gone!"

Ochiba throws her head back and howls with laughter, kicking her feet and rocking the gigacup.

"But is it the Yasuki I'd like, hm, hm?" She winked in really exaggarated manners. "He needs to iron his pants or something. Let's wait...wait, is he...offering tips? Not sure if that is adorable or insulting. He doesn't know what he's doing. Wait, is the whole show now pivoting? What even is going on now?!"

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

"But is it the Yasuki I'd like, hm, hm?" She winked in really exaggarated manners. "He needs to iron his pants or something. Let's wait...wait, is he...offering tips? Not sure if that is adorable or insulting. He doesn't know what he's doing. Wait, is the whole show now pivoting? What even is going on now?!"

"Oh my fortunes...the title is coming back, they've changed it!"
Ochiba is up on the couch arms wrapped around the cup in awe, mouth agape, eyes wide.

"No way...no way"

The new title fades in: 'Hiruma(s) Want a Wife'

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"Oh my fortunes...the title is coming back, they've changed it!"
Ochiba is up on the couch arms wrapped around the cup in awe, mouth agape, eyes wide.

"No way...no way"

The new title fades in: 'Hiruma(s) Want a Wife'

"Okay, now this is cinema, now we're cooking!" The date segment result were up, and the Hiruma(s) were both standing up at the front. The original Hiruma farmlad was clad in a dapper suit, while the New Hiruma Lass was wearing in a more traditional kimono. "Huh, not the outfit I would've went with those tits, but I guess they are sticking to an aesthetic."

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

"Okay, now this is cinema, now we're cooking!" The date segment result were up, and the Hiruma(s) were both standing up at the front. The original Hiruma farmlad was clad in a dapper suit, while the New Hiruma Lass was wearing in a more traditional kimono. "Huh, not the outfit I would've went with those tits, but I guess they are sticking to an aesthetic."

"Yeah, they are not putting her best foot forward, but maybe that's just part of the plan with the pivot now? I bet they rewrote this on the fly, try and see if you can spot any tags on her kimono, probably just picked it up from the nearest shop!"

Ochiba peers at the screen, hunting the elusive evidence.
"So, are they gonna bring a bunch of guys on or is the pool just getting split now?"

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"Yeah, they are not putting her best foot forward, but maybe that's just part of the plan with the pivot now? I bet they rewrote this on the fly, try and see if you can spot any tags on her kimono, probably just picked it up from the nearest shop!"

Ochiba peers at the screen, hunting the elusive evidence.
"So, are they gonna bring a bunch of guys on or is the pool just getting split now?"

Yakura nodded. "Ah, gotcha. It does seem like...they are shoehorning her into the next challenge. Imean, snail hunting didn't seem something that particular Hiruma would do,r eally. She was too classy for the mu-no wait, there it is, I see it." Apparently the Hiruma bride was mud wrestling with the Toritaka.

Meanwhile Hiruma Himbo was busy discussing shop with the Kaiu.

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

Yakura nodded. "Ah, gotcha. It does seem like...they are shoehorning her into the next challenge. Imean, snail hunting didn't seem something that particular Hiruma would do,r eally. She was too classy for the mu-no wait, there it is, I see it." Apparently the Hiruma bride was mud wrestling with the Toritaka.

Meanwhile Hiruma Himbo was busy discussing shop with the Kaiu.

"It's definitely shameless titillation to make the women mud wrestle" noted Ochiba, not taking her eyes off the screen as she blindly felt around for snacks.
"Just terrible, and then they edit it in with the power armour discussion...oh huh, you know I kinda want to hear more about that too. All the nerd stuff is getting to me."

Finally tearing her eyes away.
"You know, I don't mind Kaiu, as a family...they seem pretty cool."

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"It's definitely shameless titillation to make the women mud wrestle" noted Ochiba, not taking her eyes off the screen as she blindly felt around for snacks.
"Just terrible, and then they edit it in with the power armour discussion...oh huh, you know I kinda want to hear more about that too. All the nerd stuff is getting to me."

Finally tearing her eyes away.
"You know, I don't mind Kaiu, as a family...they seem pretty cool."

"Yeah, shameless titillation of the female body is just...fun but too much? Oh, why is the bachelor riding shirtless? Like..okay, ignore my question. Abs, that is why. Abs-kun it is then." She replied solemnly.

Yakura turned slowly towards O-chan. "YEah, they can be. Anything specific you're thinking of?"

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

"Yeah, shameless titillation of the female body is just...fun but too much? Oh, why is the bachelor riding shirtless? Like..okay, ignore my question. Abs, that is why. Abs-kun it is then." She replied solemnly.

Yakura turned slowly towards O-chan. "YEah, they can be. Anything specific you're thinking of?"

"Just glad there's some equal opportunity oogling now. Oh yup, there they go, a romantic ride around the property. It is kinda majestic I guess, nice big valley, little river, big old house. Still, you'd have to really like horses and rice."

Glancing back at Yakura.
"Well, maybe one Kaiu in particular, but like a more traditional one not the-"
She waves a hand at the screen where the bachelorette Kaiu is insisting the shirtless Hiruma hammer a fence stake in deeper.

"Nothing super serious though, of course."

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"Just glad there's some equal opportunity oogling now. Oh yup, there they go, a romantic ride around the property. It is kinda majestic I guess, nice big valley, little river, big old house. Still, you'd have to really like horses and rice."

Glancing back at Yakura.
"Well, maybe one Kaiu in particular, but like a more traditional one not the-"
She waves a hand at the screen where the bachelorette Kaiu is insisting the shirtless Hiruma hammer a fence stake in deeper.

"Nothing super serious though, of course."

"Oh yeah, she does have the right hils and valleys...house? Oh, you meant the land actually. Huh. It's..nice if you're into it. I guess. Not enough bars for me. Good for a visit, bad for a stay. For me, of course."

She smiled at the Mantis. "Well, care to talk to me about the particular Kaiu a bit more? And what's wrong with your Kaiu working you until you1Re all sweaty and bothered." She snickered, as the Kaiu and the Hiruma boi went on another date. "I think she's locking in soon, unless..oh wait, there is the Toritaka with a stel chair. An actual steel chair. IS that even legal? Oh my kami!"

[Yoritomo Ochiba]

"Oh yeah, she does have the right hils and valleys...house? Oh, you meant the land actually. Huh. It's..nice if you're into it. I guess. Not enough bars for me. Good for a visit, bad for a stay. For me, of course."

She smiled at the Mantis. "Well, care to talk to me about the particular Kaiu a bit more? And what's wrong with your Kaiu working you until you1Re all sweaty and bothered." She snickered, as the Kaiu and the Hiruma boi went on another date. "I think she's locking in soon, unless..oh wait, there is the Toritaka with a stel chair. An actual steel chair. IS that even legal? Oh my kami!"

"I was wondering why they were shooting that scene at that angle, like, just her on the extreme side. And the sound effect."
Snickering.
"Pro-wrestling it ain't. Maybe the chair was possessed?...Oh no, she's saying grandfather chicken told her to, well, I've used excuses like that before."

Buying some time with a few sake sips.
"Just you know, a Kaiu...handsome, kinda quiet, brainy, does engineer and fleshcrafting. We've just been hanging out a bit, you know. And I mean, actually hanging out, like date-dates."

[Yoritomo Yakura]

"I was wondering why they were shooting that scene at that angle, like, just her on the extreme side. And the sound effect."
Snickering.
"Pro-wrestling it ain't. Maybe the chair was possessed?...Oh no, she's saying grandfather chicken told her to, well, I've used excuses like that before."

Buying some time with a few sake sips.
"Just you know, a Kaiu...handsome, kinda quiet, brainy, does engineer and fleshcrafting. We've just been hanging out a bit, you know. And I mean, actually hanging out, like date-dates."

"Possessed by...I don't know." She shrugged. "The booze might be getting to me. I needs to get one of these for myself."Yakura just nodded. "Well, that's good. Just so you know...you do deserve someone nice. If you feel like it." She bumped O-chan's shoulders, then leaned back.

"Oh...will it be a double wedding as well? Neat!"