[D11, EN, Closed] Pent Up Feelings

[Yasuki Honoka]

Tonight there was supposed to be a fireworks display, as she heard from her dear friend Kaiu Nagisa. Which is where this grand plan of Honoka's started. So much time was spent in the public eye, and so much of that time was spent putting on a public face for the business that needed doing. Tonight, maybe even just for tonight, Honoka wanted to allow herself and Umiko a little escape. Escape enough to talk about something that's been on her mind for... maybe too long, now that she recognizes it for what it is.

A part of her wanted to armor up, to dress more formally and treat her all formally. So that she might treat this like some kind of business deal, or other important meeting. Not that this wasn't important enough to warrant it, but she knew a defense against something she was uncomfortable with by the feel of it. Knowing that, she knew also who they were to one another and what they both wanted from their time together. So tonight she was dressed down, in the comfiest clothes she could find.

Waiting for Umiko to arrive she was sat on her stupidly luxurious couch that looked out over the bay through giant glass window panes. Nearby she had brought over a mini-freezer with cold delights they could share. As well, an assortment of other of her favorite and Umiko's favorite snack foods were gathered. At least, Umiko's favorite as best as she could remember from when they were younger. Which she has to admit has probably changed so she's collected other things to have on hand as well.

While she waited she still has that little stick of fortune from the portion of the festival Kanna had arranged. Twirling her stick of exceptional fortune between two fingers she wondered if it could possibly be true. Oh how she hoped it would be. Even as silly and fairytale as it might feel, as it surely could be.

[Yasuki Umiko]

Umiko would be more than happy to accept Honoka's invitation. After the events of the last few days and the big disaster that followed at the Temple of Dawn, it was good to see things getting back to normal. Okay, that wasn't true. It was as close to a temporary normal, for now.

She would arrive dressed in the celebratory yukata provided by Suzume Hitomi's Feather Your Nest, dyed on Rokugani cotton with the pattern that felt many ways floral, patterns of light on the sea, or the underside of a sea turtle (a non-crab but still a shelled creature of the seas). There were feelings of anxiety with this meeting, but she would focus on at least having fun and spending time with an old friend. Hopefully, this can finally be that long-planned meeting they wanted to have without doom looming over them.

[Yasuki Honoka]

When they were younger, this was Honoka's father's penthouse. Honoka lived in a smaller home, a condo, with her mother. She was still in a wealthy neighborhood but there was a lot of separation between Honoka's parents even when she was very young. It was only in the previous year when Honoka's father attained governorship from his father that her mother properly went with him, and lives now at his side. As such, Umiko has likely never seen the inside of the space she now enters.

Hiroto is the one to answer the door for her, checking around and when satisfied stepping past Umiko to allow her to enter. Honoka would appear, almost as if just behind Hiroto's shoulder to welcome Umiko in. In the foyer area there was a small coatroom to the side, a place for footwear to be left, and an assortment of bowls and stands for visiting samurai go place daisho or pocketable items. Honoka's smile was bright, mixed with the nerves she has dwelling inside her.

"Umiko-chan! Thank you for coming!" she says, and happily makes room. Allowing her in, "I'm already out of my outfit I was wearing around today.." she says, admiring the yukata, "I should have kept it so I could have shown it off too. Yours looks," she pauses, swallows and forces up a pleasant smile. "Yours looks amazing on you, Umiko-chan."

[Yasuki Umiko]

Umiko was almost unsure if she had the right place at first, but the appearance of Hiroto acted like a sort of lighthouse on an island to show that she was indeed at the right place. Her smile was small, earnest but perhaps tinged with a faint bit of tiredness from the late hour. However, seeing her friend might have given her enough energy to see through the rest of the night and maybe a few sips of an energy tonic along the way. She would greet her with a deep bow with her bag in both hands.

"Honoka-sama, thank you for having me. Don't think too much about the outfit, I guess it was a bit of a late night for me that I didn't change out of it myself. It's very nice, having been donated by Suzume Hitomi-san of Feather your Nest some days ago. Very much a lifesaver when I've been too busy to go yukata shopping myself in the last few days."

She would take off her sandals where it was appropriate and step in, walking closer to her with that same smile, perhaps a slight bit closer than proper. Her hands were gripping her simple bamboo-handle and woven bag in a slightly anxious gesture. There was a bit of silence where she didn't know what to say at first before opening it up with a simple. "...I hope you had fun at the Bon Festival tonight?"

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka's response was delayed, a little space of dead air between words just long enough to be noticeable. In that space Honoka was just looking at Umiko, like the words couldn't come to her immediately. One of her hand gripping tightly on a bamboo stick which she casually held just a bit behind her. When she did speak it came out with the speed of someone who realizes they were quiet a little too long.

"So much fun!" she laughs, chuckles? The definition gets blurry with the mixed quality of it. "There were these very nice people I was talking to about crabs just before, and I think they really enjoyed it. I also did a lot of those races by the games, that was fun. Then... Oh oh, I am getting carried away. Please, please come in!" she says, and seems uncertain what to do with her hands for a moment before stepping back and beckoning Umiko inside.

"You can put your things down wherever," she says, motioning about the large foyer space around them filled with places and surfaces to put stuff down. "If you want there is a guest room over there," she points off to the right of Umiko's point of view, "I put some comfier clothes in there just in case. I.. think we are about the same size? I figured you might be too busy and might like to change," she hammers her mouth shut, feeling a little too presumptuous. Deflecting, "Oh! I also have so many snacks! Also drinks, I got a lot of your old favorites I still.. well, I still hope you like those. Even if you don't I got other stuff too!"

[Yasuki Umiko]

"Heh, really?" Umiko would say with some delight and smile ruefully with an apologetic tilt of her head. "It's a bit unfortunate that I had to miss much of it, I was looking forward to showing up in public! But! I'm glad that the Public Works office and the volunteers were able to come together to make it happen at the last minute. I'm really glad that you had fun."

"Mm!" She gave an enthusiastic bob of her head. There was some previous obligation in her to keep her bag and communicator on hand at all times, especially when it came to being the karo and managing the city. However, she was willing to let go of her bag and tune out everything. It was very liberating in many ways, put her full attention on herself and her friend, rather than worrying about dozens of things that could be going on in the city at the moment.

"Oh, no, no! The yukata is fine! It's quite comfy, actually," She let out a soft laugh at the offer of clothes. However, her eyes would light up at the mention of snacks and drinks. "But the snacks! I could really go for snacks! Do you have shrimp crackers? Matcha sticks? How about melon soda? Or plum soda?"

[Yasuki Honoka]

"Yes! Yes! And.. wait..." she would quickly scamper across the floor. Hand on the counter top of the island separating foyer from kitchen space. Shouting, "Yes on plum soda!" while she did. With a soft hiss the cold case opens. Objects shift, clang, and move as she digs in to check. Finally, "Yes! Melon!" she shouts triumphantly. "They always give the wrong one when I order it, but they got it right this time!"

Returning back around the island, having left the drink out but closing the fridge. Honoka would say as she rejoins Umiko's side, "You weren't able to attend the festival? That's.." she lingers, she needn't tell Umiko things she already knew. However, it was clear Honoka was saddened, but not trying to bring down the mood, that Umiko had missed out! That, and, well there were a few other bits that she had noticed but wouldn't call out directly. Such as term of address, the willingness to be separated from her things. In public, Honoka kept a tight expression. However, here and with her, she was about as open as a book as the every micro expression details another portion of the complicated emotional thoughts swirling her mind.

[Yasuki Umiko]

Umiko placed a hand on her lips and let out a giggle when Honoka ran off to get her request for pop. The enthusiasm caught her off guard, and she would really walk over to join her on the island so that she didn't have to run back and forth. "I could-uhm, okay, this is fine. Really, thank you," she smirked at Honoka.

Taking the can in hand, she would start with opening the melon soda, the sort that had that almost eerie green that might either reminiscent of a jade-strike glow. "...yes, I talked to Ayame-chan earlier in the evening and had to settle a few things at the Public Works office. It took a bit longer than I would have liked, but I did hear things went well in the evening and with the drinking! I don't think I would have been able to touch a single cup, honestly. You have to be very brave to participate..."

She did say at first, before she kind of felt the moment linger a little into a slight awkward silence. Well, much like the moment at the park, it was perhaps best to come clean with her friend first. "...I will be stepping down as karo. My decision."

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka's hand rises to scratch with the pads of her fingers at her temple, a little embarrassed at having done something Umiko considered brave. However, the impending news had a weight which sat in the room and Honoka was careful, not hesitant or scared but making sure she watched each step that came next. Getting herself into one of the seats on the opposite side of the island, next to one she reserved for Umiko. Laying her hand across the surface of the island already, almost in preparation to be closer but not presumptive.

"That must have been a very difficult decision, Umiko-chan," she says softly. Leaving enough space for her words to settle in. "We have the whole night, if you wish. Would you like to talk about it?"

[Yasuki Umiko]

Umiko would be more than happy to join her at the nearby seat and smooth down her yukata afterwards. She took a small gulp of the soda and let out a happy sigh, feeling almost parched after the night's late-minute proceedings. Yes, there was an abundance of tea, but it didn't quite hit the spot like this melon soda. Really, took her back to a time when they would take a detour from their route home to go to the convenience store or one of the many street-side vending machines. It was like finding an oasis in a can.

She looked at Honoka with an easy smile on her lips, although one that might be tinged with full knowledge of her hardships ahead. "...It was, but after a long discussion with Ayame-chan it was for the best. At least, for the immediate future. While I might be fit to serve in my post in my mind, my heart might not have been up to the task. Well, that's probably not properly putting it...but it would be for the best for the island and the province if I put myself in a place where Ayame-chan's rule was more accepted."

[Yasuki Honoka]

Watching Umiko take that enjoyable first sip she realizes she hadn't grabbed something for herself exactly. Discretely getting up she practically maintains eye contact with Umiko the whole way to the fridge, "That makes a lot of sense, I think. I imagine it must have been hard, to have something that was so like what you really wanted but knowing it wasn't really it," she says, opening the fridge door and pulling out a plum soda for herself. Taking the walk back to deeply consider what she might say next. Plopping back down onto her seat, the hiss of the can would be the announcement that preceded her.

"May be a lot different than what you hoped would be good for the province, but I think you're making choices from the right place. Just.." she looks to her, trying to hide her deep concern as best she can but it's hard, she's still a little freshly woken from a alcohol induced nap. "What will you be doing now then? Where will you be?" she almost stops herself from asking the question most on her mind, worrying it might seem insensitive but it slips out.

[Yasuki Umiko]

Umiko took another sip from her can and looked at the countertop surface in momentary thought. She bit her lip as she formed her thoughts before speaking. "That's not the only issue. It's less about what I wanted from the position, but rather allowing my thoughts to get in the way of my duties. A duty that my father bestowed to me with my retirement, the duty to see to serve the island, and the duty to support my sister. I've...allowed Nagisa to push me to the edge and make me forget that entirely, turning me selfish. As a result, there was a bit of chaos bubbling underneath the island, much like Mount Nakahama, threatening to explode. There was some smoke, and then there was worse. I'm not blameless for what happened at the temple and to the late Moto-san. While, nobody was rallying to have me step down, at least outwardly, it was perhaps best that I remove myself."

She smiled ruefully and carefully reached over to take Honoka's hand into her own. Her gesture was perhaps assertive at first before she remembered her place. Umiko would keep her hand there with her grip oftening, and it could be pulled away with any degree of effort. "...I will likely be leaving the island but other than that, I'm not too sure entirely. I think that going on 'tour' might do me some good and give me some perspective on my duties."

It was quite likely she didn't mean tour in the same sense of her former music career.

[Yasuki Honoka]

Listening to Umiko speak, Honoka's eyes never left her not for a moment. There was no split, no awkward sub layer to Honoka planning her next move, she was all right there simply listening. Feeling her own rumbling of a volcano build in her stomach, anxiety building in a way she couldn't avoid. One of Honoka's hands, not the one Umiko would soon take, retracted so as to cover her stomach and find some support.

A tension which found itself being cut when Umiko took her hand, and eased into a softer but still present unease. Honoka would softly hold to that hand of hers with the careful attention one might devote a lifeline, but one that could snap if applied too much pressure.

"I want always what is best for you, Umiko-chan. That you will be venturing out, and finding the space to clear your mind and heart sounds the.. well, it sounds like what many would suggest one do in your position," Honoka swallows, eyes casting down. "I must admit something very selfish though, Umiko-chan. If you are to leave, I do hope you will return soon.. because I truly do not wish you to go," she says, looking down at their hands.

[Yasuki Umiko]

When Honoka looked down, Umiko would look up instead and her gaze would fall on her friend. She mustered a smile, certainly wanting very much to be brave when it came to walking into the unknown, both in her future travels and an uncertain destiny. Honoka was the brave one here not too long ago, and she found herself looking at her for inspiration. This bravery wasn't just what transpired at the warehouse alone, but Honoka had already shown this capability long before. Despite the many red flags that were thrown at Honoka with Umiko's turbulent vortex of drama, and the ample opportunities to stay away, she still clung on and dedicated herself to Umiko.

She let out a small laugh at that. "My sister was brave before...and she will be brave again. And I know that you've often been very brave yourself, Honoka-chan. I've been just someone who found themselves swept up at sea, allowing the winds to take me where they will. It's worked out for me well for most of my life, brought me to some rather amazing places. But clearly, it has made me lose my way, too. I won't leave the seas, but it would help to at least learn to become an anchor, learn some bravery of my own, hm?" Umiko would lean a little closer with a tilted head to coax her agreement.

With that, her hand would squeeze Honoka's a little to secure her place, anchor herself to her and maybe give her an inkling of hope. "...I do plan to be back, someday. I don't know when, but I will."

[Yasuki Honoka]

"Mm," Honoka would agree, in the same turn. With that little squeeze of her hand Honoka would bring her other forward to grasp on as well. Shifting the position of their hands so she could have both thumbs free, and kneading Umiko's hand a little much in the same way she often did with Crabbo. Staring down at her hand to muster some great deal of that courage she wishes to have, that she wants to believe she can have. Umiko thought she was brave, and that means this was the time to prove it. Looking up to her, Honoka would seek to meet her eyes despite how difficult it was for her to do. Oh how she wishes she could just let herself not look at her directly, like looking at the sun.

"Umiko-chan, if you're going to be leaving then.. then there is absolutely something I must tell you. I was already planning on it," she says, a little awkwardly and with that sheepish tone. Reinvigorating, "But, but now I think it's very important that I say this now. Because if you were to leave and not know, well that would be devastating," she says, beating around the bush. Gripping Umiko's hands, both thumbs pressing down gently but securely.

"I love you."

[Yasuki Umiko]

So there it was. While Umiko was often "politely oblivious" about such matters, perhaps years of living the idol squad life, followed by years in the informator show business, this was quite clear to her. That wasn't to say that she found out just now, certainly by the little shows and signs from Honoka. She knew. Her actions at the temple, stepping through the door of her penthouse, and even her recognizable loving comfort ritual with Crabbo were bestowed upon her. This was quite undeniably obvious to her.

However, there was still a sea of difference between knowing this feeling existed in Honoka's heart and hearing her admit this directly to her. She would cast a warm smile on her, getting the sense of the mountain she climbed to just to make this leap of faith, especially after putting herself so close to the sun. This could have been her only chance, but she still took a big risk telling her this as the last impression, at least for a long time.

Her other hand would place itself on top of hers, giving her a comforting gesture. There was a feeling that she would never release her claw from her if it were entirely up to her. However, that choice was already made a while ago. Umiko did feel that pang of regret welling in her heart, but she would still maintain that warm and brave smile.

"I love you too, Honoka-chan," she would finally tell her to break the silence.

[Yasuki Honoka]

Tension, only naturally, builds quite high in that silence. Tension that was building with every syllable she uttered, every small brick she lay to get to this point. There always had to be some kind of release, at the end of it all. For a mountain, it would always be lava and rock. For Honoka? She smiles brightly, more brightly than anyone who knew her might think was possible. Tears streak down her face like veins of that hot lava, cresting over her lip and wetting her cheeks. With a quick gesture she tries to wipe the tears away with just her right hand, quickly so she could return to Umiko's, but all it does is give the tears more surface area to run down.

"R-really?" she stammers, something of a giggle amid the words. "That's.. that's good, oh that's so good. That's good right? We can.." she sniffles, shaking their hands a little in excitement. "Oh, okay. That means- that means we have to do everything we can," she brings her right hand out again, putting it up to her own chin, as if in contemplation. "Oh there's so much to do. There's this whole night, we were gonna watch the fireworks. I won these goldfish, which I thought were cute and could be like us but didn't wanna say but that's what I thought of when I got the two of them, and they're over there," she quickly points, still with her right hand. Left never leaving Umiko's. "Oh I also bought you this gift- a fan," she laughs, "Oh that will be good. If you're leaving, you'll be able to take it with you as a.. token, reminder?" she shakes her head, she doesn't know what word she wants to use.

"We also need to have a proper first kiss- I mean, okay that isn't really that special or they shouldn't be, or they aren't but like I wanna do that again, and right, and I didn't do the first one quite right it was just in the heat of the moment and I was gonna do something so stupid, I coulda died I don't know who knows I don't..."

Honoka would not stop, unless stopped, as this string of consciousness goes on forever.

[Yasuki Umiko]

"Yes. Yes, Honoko-chan," Umiko couldn't help but let out a giggle at her reaction at first. Her smile was a happy one, but tinged slightly with a sort of bittersweet sadness to this all. Honoko's energy was infectious; this all started with the shaking of her hand and the speech that followed. The girl had plans, so many plans.

This was all so overwhelming for Umiko, and this was perhaps soon evident as she shook a little while keeping her hand with Honoka, holding her tightly. A flood of happy and sad emotions coming in at the same time. Her eyes grew red, and she bit back a sob. Unfortunately, they didn't have all the time in the world, there was just too much for one night. She did want to pull in Honoka and hug her forever, but her hand stayed in place with Honoka's, like it was her only lifeline that she refused to let go. However, there was at least something they could do together now.

It wasn't so much that she wanted to stop Honoka from talking, but she did place her free hand on her cheek. Her thumb would give her a soft caress as she locked eyes with her, as she was the more precious treasure to her right now. Without any further words, she leaned closely and kissed her.

[Yasuki Honoka]

Those seconds between Umiko's hand touching her cheek, the soft caress which was a little wet from tears of intensely complicated joy. Honoka's eyes stopped watering through the sheer intent, focus, and the simple way the world stops when they lock eyes in that moment particularly. Those seconds were perhaps more like minutes, hours, maybe even days.. no, years. For this moment is one of those rare moments you can feel history writing itself into your conscious mind. This moment is one that will stay with her until the very day she dies; locking in permanent memory the softness of her touch, the embrace of her lips.

Honoka's free hand having parted from her cheek to allow Umiko in, found itself not certain of where it could go. First in the air as they kiss it finds it's way down. There wasn't enough space between them so it fell to a few fingers slipping past Umiko's shoulder which was far closer than she'd ever been used to before. Which inspires, perhaps, the fact that she was close and close enough to lay her hand on her side. Fitting comfortably onto her side, resting just at the handle of her hip. Being a woman of patience she savors the kiss for a long time, letting it permeate her soul and bringing her to a calm softness. Softness which seems at ease with the bittersweet emotions lacing themselves into the moment, because for Honoka there was rarely a happiness that wasn't some degree bittersweet.

Thus today, this moment, brings a rare promise of hope for a happiness to come that will no longer be bittersweet. That it might take some time is fine; she's good at waiting, she's always been very patient.

Every kiss eventually had it's end, and so Honoka parts it and looks for those eyes again. Hand resting comfortably at it's handle, and the other squeezing Umiko's hand in turn a lifeline neither of them wanted to part. Shifting her weight a little on the, comfy for a stool but a stool nonetheless, to make sure she doesn't fall off. Honoka's eyes wander across Umiko's face like she was reading the tale of a lifetime that held the secrets of the universe, marking every little detail anew in this close proximity.

"I'll be okay," she would say, softly like the dearest promise it was. "When you leave, I'll be okay. You've been gone before, and when you came back things only got.." she laughs a warm breathy laugh, "..so much better. I'm really good at waiting, Umiko-chan. So, if I have to wait for you again but this time I know it, and I know you're coming back, I will be okay."

[Yasuki Umiko]

While it didn't last for years for Umiko, this gentle and affectionate connection with Honoka was a refuge from the present. It just felt comfortable and right, the long years apart, then this reunion. The moments they shared together, the subtle gestures and the glances that Umiko sensed in Honoka. While she thought it would have been awkward at first but after taking the leap, she found herself comfortable with the kiss and with her touch. Her hand would place itself on Honoka's forearm, not to dissuade her in the slightest but perhaps encourage. It also helped to keep her balance on the stool, too.

She would slowly part ways with Honoka, looking for her reaction at first, even knowing full well Honoka's feelings. Her expressions were perhaps in awe of her old boldness before settling into a small and happy smile. Her hand would stroke her arms gently, and she nodded.

"...I'm glad, Honoka-chan...I want you to be well, I really do, even without me." She said softly at first, her mind dwelling on the possibilities of fates that could befall her in the uncertain future. Honoka deserved happiness, even if it was elsewhere. Had Kanna's fortune come to pass, or was it something that had yet to be realized? It was perhaps foolish to do this, but she wanted an anchor right now. "...I promise I'll return to you. I will come back."