[Day 11, MM] Centennial Confidant

[Yasuki Honoka]

"... and so, I am going to tell her tonight. I just.. I just have to get everything just right, you know? I don't.. I don't want her to be uncomfortable, or- kami I was such an idiot Ruisu," she says, burying her face into her hands. "I still can't believe I did that! Right there! Oh I'm so embarrassed, she probably thinks so terribly of me for that," she sighs, shaking her head.

"No, no, you're right. I should be calm, and patient. Surely..."

Honoka stood before the koi pond in the Kuni gardens, speaking into the water. Hoping that her old confidant would be able to give her the assurance she most desperately sought. The hour was still early, and the sound of water and air off the flora was calming. This mornings fresh rain gave everything that spark of life, and the smells permeated every moment.

[Bayushi Senshuken]

"Same place, it seems." She will hear Senshuken's voice from nearby once her conversation over the phone is over. "Is it same time, too?" She stands up from the spot she was sitting by the pond and walks closer to offer a bow. "Greetings, Yasuki sama. How have you been?"

[Yasuki Honoka]

"Oh!" she exclaims, not overly loud but just with a little start. Abashedly she looks from Senshuken to the pond, and seemingly gives a discreet nod of respect to the pond before turning to Senshuken directly. Offering her a bow in turn, "Good morning, Bayushi-san! I have been... Well.." she says, as if about to expand on a more developed answer. However, in light of all that has transpired and all the turmoil she has witnessed she says simply, "Today I am well."

"But I believe you are correct, same time and place. I hope if you come here more frequently than I you keep dear Ruisu company in my stead," she says, gesturing toward the pond. "And what of you? How might you have been?"

[Bayushi Senshuken]

She shrugs. "Well I was certainly not kept hostage. Not literally at least. I read the report about last night." A pause. "I am truly sorry that you had to go through that. Sometimes the world is a cruel place."

She takes a moment to look around her and appreciate the beauty. "This is a beautiful garden. I'm just here to say my good byes." Her gaze returns to the other woman. "I am afraid that the company duties will remain solemnly on you."

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka dims, but only slightly, "Ah yes. Your words are appreciated, Bayushi-san. However, as we all learn eventually we cannot control everything. No matter how much we might try," she says, her thoughts going to Yasuki Nagisa. Though she didn't perhaps know her for long, she suspects that perhaps that was a folly of that woman, and she knew the end of her story.

"But yes, I digress," she says, lingering on what else Senshuken has said. What the underlying meaning then must be, choosing to simply accept it, "I am certain the garden will miss your presence. My mother once told me that flowers bloom brighter when they are given good company. My.. heart was never directed their way in the way hers was, but her views on them still have stuck with me."

[Bayushi Senshuken]

She smiles even it is more faintly than her usual grinning and way less cool than her patented smirking. "I believe that this place gave me a good lesson on control and how sometimes you just have to relax and let the current simply carry you. It is said that fortunes favor the bold, but perhaps it is the centered ones that they actually prefer."

Another look around her. "I cannot in good conscience pretend to know about flowers. Or say that I come here for them. It's just that sometimes our minds need to rest and although I cannot stop mine from racing ahead at every waking minute, this place makes the mental fatigue from always running easier to carry."

[Yasuki Honoka]

"I can speak, I think, for those who hold back, remain patient," she says, her tone turning to one that reflects her musing. "I do not think a center is a place found in patience, or speed. I think it is a place we find within ourselves to be our truest, most empathetic, and confident selves. Something I am certain we can all attain, even.. even if we struggle at times," she says, looking inward. So many years of struggling, and many to come surely.

"Often, Bayushi-san. I find myself admiring those like yourself, who can act quick and are self assured. Your color is vibrant, and are the spark that ignites spirits. So, I do hope you can find your center Bayushi-san, but do not forsake your boldness. That may well cast you further away than you realize."

[Bayushi Senshuken]

But isn't Senshuken true, confident and empathetic? She thinks for a few moments. She certainly tries to be, but is she really?

"I do not wish to change myself, but I fear that I found myself in a crossroads I didn't expect to find in this lane I had picked. A lack in empathy, perhaps. I got too focused on the summer heat that I forgot to prepare for the winter cold. I had to run around frantically to gather firewood and now I find myself too tired to enjoy warmth of the fire I built." She waves her hand. "Okay, not my best metaphor admittedly."

A long pause follows. "Earlier... When you were on the phone. Sorry, I wasn't quick enough to close my ears."

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka listens, as she is well versed in doing. Nodding along with Senshuken as she speaks her metaphor. Smiling softly when she finishes. However, the silence that would follow is broken by what Senshuken admits. Furrowed brow, scrunched nose, she was on the phone?

"O-oh!" she exclaims, her hand coming up to her chin in embarrassment. "You mean when I was speaking just before? No no.. well, I wasn't talking to anyone exactly. Just.." she gestures toward the pond, "Ruisu often helps me carry my burdens. So, I was sharing some."

[Bayushi Senshuken]

She shrugs. She's not the type to judge someone else's coping mechanisms. "Well, just know that I can both listen and speak. An advantage really and the only real drawback... I'm leaving tomorrow so there's no drawback really."

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka smiles, but that smile shifts into a regretfully neutral expression, "You are very sweet to offer, Bayushi-san. I admit... I am wary of getting into any specifics of true confidence due to a recent unfortunate interaction with someone," she says, and subconsciously her eyes quickly glance to Senshuken's family mon if it appears on her person in any fashion.

"But if you are willing to put up with such wariness, we could try," she would offer, and gesture to a familiar bench.

[Bayushi Senshuken]

She follows her to the bench and will sit down only after Honoka has.

"I understand the hesitation and since I'm just a stranger who will be departing once and for all before long, I urge you to keep it in future interactions." She looks at her own mon, as well. "I read the report, as I said. It was only a minor detail in the whole unfortunate incident, but it was there." A pause. "So? What will you tell her tonight? I'm not going to disgrace you by asking who we are talking about. Such things are to be protected."

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka's furrow relaxes, her shoulders lose their tension. That Senshuken knew even that detail was like a breath she didn't know she had been holding. Okay, then she already knows, and doesn't need to fear those events changing how Senshuken feels now, so... "How deeply I have realized I have come to care for her. We always shared a special bond but..." she hesitates, not because she is trying to withhold but she didn't have the exact right words herself.

[Bayushi Senshuken]

"But?" Senshu seems to be hanging on her every word. She could make guesses, one of them would be quite educated frankly, but... It is Honoka who must say the words because if she cannot do it now, how will she when the stakes are high. When she, whoever she is, is present.

[Yasuki Honoka]

"Oh it's so so much more than that!" she turns, facing Senshuken a little more. There is a moment Honoka pauses, seeing Senshuken a woman so much her junior in terms of years. Finding herself reconciling that there is some experience that isn't strictly tied to one's age. So, with energy, she continues, "I have this other friend, over the years. Who I have been very comfortable with, and very much enjoy the presence of. But it's not quite the same? With her it's.. more, it's like.. like.." she ponders, her hand going to Crabbo's head, her crab plush at her side, to stroke it as she thinks. "You know that expression? There is no place like home? I've never understood it before.. but now, now I think I might! She's bold, and brave, and good.. so good, all she has ever done is care for other people. She see's those that aren't seen," she looks down at Crabbo, this part she doesn't say aloud. Like me. "And she cares for them, I've.. I don't think I've ever known someone quite as good."

[Bayushi Senshuken]

Senshu smiles broadly. She's far from being a master of feelings recognision, but this is more clear than even the air in... No, the air isn't that clear in the world of Dreams, but... Okay, she has to work on her metaphors.

She sighs. Audibly. Deeply. "I am really happy for you, Yasuki sama. You are clearly in love and this must be wonderful. I have heard so! As long as she feels the same or she's willing to give you a shot. If not..." She shrugs. Her excitement mostly gone. "I had correspodence with my mother today. Her advise was a precious one. Sometimes lying to ourselves is the best way out of a hurtful situation. But first you have to try." She looks at her intensely. "You must show her your hand and see which card she will pick. I am rooting for you so hard!"

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka luckily wore makeup which functions as concealer, otherwise her reception of this might be too noticeable. Dipping her head appreciatively to Senshuken she smiles, "Thank you, thank you very much Bayushi-san. I.. I admit. I am prepared for if it were not to be accepted as well," she says, starting to speak more slowly. Like every word has the weight of full intention behind it. "At least if I do this. I will know that I have earned this.. this.. feeling. I know I will have been brave enough to have earned it, brave like she is and.." she chuckles awkwardly, trying to power through the awkwardness she is admitting here.

"To have been brave. That would be enough," she says, after a moment to come to a better baseline.

[Bayushi Senshuken]

She keeps looking at her. She looks so happy. Sweet, innocent and happy with newly found bravery. Only one question spoils the moment for Senshu. "May I ask what's your plan in case things go south? How did you get prepared for that prospect? I'm asking clearly for reasons of... understanding people better. Purely scientific reasons."

[Yasuki Honoka]

Honoka looks to Senshuken for what likely feels like a long moment, there is the space of silence afforded careful contemplation. As she does, Senshuken would see Honoka's eyes soften just a little, in that way they do.

"Well. I have spent many years alone, and many more couldn't hurt me. I am sure such a thing would hurt, and it may even hurt deeply but.. I will remain unchanged, and tomorrow I will get up and meet another new day. I suppose I don't really know though, until it happens. We can hope to be ready for many such things but then find we are not. Yesterday.." she hesitates, well she doesn't need to highlight those specifics. "Yesterday I also did something I never thought I would do, and today I woke up thinking of this, of her. So, I suppose it will be like that," she says.

"I just know that for me, the success is in having told her. Perhaps that is it, that I set my goals to that which I can achieve and not on which I hope to happen."

[Bayushi Senshuken]

Senshu listens carefully. That is an approach in life that differs significantly from anything she's used of. She has her disagreements, fundamental ones, but she listens carefully.

"I wish that I could approach life with such serenity. That I could offer myself such acceptance." She only says.